Oats burning in Hells Kitchen ...

I cannot believe I have brought myself to the point where I am now giving oats a go. This week I’ve been been treating my palate to a breakfast of warm oatmeal mixed with raisins and nuts to help keep I down.

Prison food ... for worst offenders

I have never tasted anything less suited for the human palate than oatmeal - this gooey, non-crunchy, porridgy, pointless food gets my dander up, and to have to swallow this swill just to drop a few pounds drives me crazy.

The rasins and nuts provide the elements I consider real food while the gooey mass filters in alongside.

Subs loves oatmeal, and this morning at breakfast I was forced to hear her blather on “there’s something warm and comforting about a bowl of oatmeal,” while I glared at her, and gulped down another spoonful. If this doesn’t shed my keelos by the pound, I’m going to be MAD!!