Heartbreak - Gam zeh ya'avor

This evening after waiting through 4 intolerable weeks, I checked my mail to learn that I was not among the registrants randomly selected to run the Mumbai edition of the SC Half Marathon. I should have checked sooner - would have saved me 1 wk of grief. It was a polite, yet fairly definitive email, which I re-read 5 times, in abject disbelief. Apparently only 58% of the applicants were able to find a place on the runner’s list. I am not one of them.

This is the first year the cutoff of 2500 runners has been implemented, presumably to put our great city’s best foot forward. My fate ball couldn’t find it’s way past quotas of females, past timed runners, senior citizens, etc. and came to an abrupt halt midway through the maze.

Needless to say, I’m absolutely gutted. The hardest part of this effort, well beyond the training, the largely unsuccessful weight loss program, the stop ’n start quit smoking movement has been wrapping my mind around the fact that I will be running 21 km in full public view.

And now having reached at a respectable 10K in 1 training run (albeit at a turtle's pace), having pushed fears of not completing deep down where even I can’t reach them, I find I will not be able to run. Gam zeh ya'avor!!